Poems

The Coming By-and-By Sad is that woman’s lot who, year by year, Sees, one by one, her beauties disappear; As Time, grown weary of her heart-drawn […]

The Contemplative Sentry When all night long a chap remains On sentry-go, to chase monotony He exercises of his brains, That is, assuming that he’s got […]

The Cunning Woman On all Arcadia’s sunny plain, On all Arcadia’s hill, None were so blithe as BILL and JANE, So blithe as JANE and BILL. […]

The Darned Mounseer I shipped, d’ye see, in a Revenue sloop, And, off Cape Finisteere, A merchantman we see, A Frenchman, going free, So we made […]

The Disagreeable Man If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I’m a genuine philanthropist – all other kinds are sham. […]

The Disconcerted Tenor A tenor, all singers above (This doesn’t admit of a question), Should keep himself quiet, Attend to his diet, And carefully nurse his […]

The Duke and the Duchess [THE DUKE.] Small titles and orders For Mayors and Recorders I get – and they’re highly delighted. M.P.s baronetted, Sham Colonels […]

The Duke Of Plaza-Toro In enterprise of martial kind, When there was any fighting, He led his regiment from behind (He found it less exciting). But […]

The Englishman He is an Englishman! For he himself has said it, And it’s greatly to his credit, That he is an Englishman! For he might […]

The Fairy Curate Once a fairy Light and airy Married with a mortal; Men, however, Never, never Pass the fairy portal. Slyly stealing, She to Ealing […]