Quintetto

[To the tune of “Turning, turning, turning, as wheel goes round.”]

RECITATIVE. MR. PAPERSTAMP:

Jack Horner’s CHRISTMAS PIE my learned nurse
Interpreted to mean the public purse.
From thence a plum he drew. O happy Horner!
Who would not be ensconced in thy snug corner

THE FIVE:

While round the public board all eagerly we linger,
for what we can get we will try, try, try:
And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

MR. FEATHERNEST:

By my own poetic laws, I’m a dealer in applause
For those who don’t deserve it, but will buy, buy
So round the court I linger, and thus I get a finget
A finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

THE FIVE:

And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

MR. VAMP:

My share of pie to win, I will dash through thick and thin
And philosophy and liberty shall fly, fly, fly:
And truth and taste shall know, that their eve Iasting foe
Has a finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

THE FIVE:

And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

MR. KILLTHEDEAD:

I’ll make my verses rattle with the din of war and battle,
For war doth increase sa-la-ry, ry, ry:
And I’ll shake the public ears with the triumph of Algiers,
And thus I ll get a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

THE FIVE:

And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

MR. PAPERSTAMP:

And while you thrive by ranting, I’ll try my luck at canting,
And scribble verse and prose all so dry, dry, dry:
And Mystic’s patent smoke public intellect shall choke,
Arld we ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

THE FIVE:

We’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

MR. ANYSIDE ANTIJACK:

My tailor is so clever, that my coat will turn for ever,
And take any colour you can dye, dye, dye:
For all my earthly wishes are among the loaves and fishes,
And to have my little finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.

THE FIVE:

And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.