Dialogue Between a Sovereign and a One-Pound Note

Said a Sov’reign to a Note,
In the pocket of my coat,
Where they met in a neat purse of leather,
“How happens it, I prithee,
That though I’m wedded with thee,
Fair Pound, we can never live together?

Like your sex, fond of change,
With silver you can range,
And of lots of young sixpences be mother;
While with me — upon my word
Not my Lady and my Lord
Of W–stm–th see so little of each other!”

The indignant Note replied
(Lying crumpled by his side),
“Shame, shame, it is yourself that roam, Sir —
One cannot look askance,
But, whip! you’re off to France,
Leaving nothing but old rags at home, Sir.

Your scampering began from the moment Parson Van,
Poor man, made us one in Love’s fetter;
“For better or for worse”
Is the usual marriage curse,
But ours is all “worse” and no “better.”

In vain are laws pass’d,
There’s nothing holds you fast
Tho’ you know, sweet Sovereign, I adore you —
At the smallest hint in life,
Your forsake your lawful wife,
As other Sovereigns did before you.

I flirt with Silver, true —
But what can ladies do,
When disown’d by their natural protectors?
And as to falsehood, stuff!
I shall soon be false enough,
When I get among those wicked Bank Directors.”

The Sovereign, smiling on her,
Now swore, upon his honour,
To be henceforth domestic and loyal;
But, within an hour or two,
Why — I sold him to a Jew,
And he’s now at No. 10, Palais Royal.