The Drunkard’s Funeral

“Yes,” said the sister with the little pinched face,
The busy little sister with the funny little tract: —
“This is the climax, the grand fifth act.
There rides the proud, at the finish of his race.
There goes the hearse, the mourners cry,
The respectable hearse goes slowly by.
The wife of the dead has money in her purse,
The children are in health, so it might have been worse.
That fellow in the coffin led a life most foul.
A fierce defender of the red bar-tender,
At the church he would rail,
At the preacher he would howl.
He planted every deviltry to see it grow.
He wasted half his income on the lewd and the low.
He would trade engender for the red bar-tender,
He would homage render to the red bar-tender,
And in ultimate surrender to the red bar-tender,
He died of the tremens, as crazy as a loon,
And his friends were glad, when the end came soon.
There goes the hearse, the mourners cry,
The respectable hearse goes slowly by.
And now, good friends, since you see how it ends,
Let each nation-mender flay the red bar-tender, —
Abhor
The transgression
Of the red bar-tender, —
Ruin
The profession
Of the red bar-tender:
Force him into business where his work does good.
Let him learn how to plough, let him learn to chop wood,
Let him learn how to plough, let him learn to chop wood.

“The moral,
The conclusion,
The verdict now you know:—
‘The saloon must go,
The saloon must go,
The saloon,
The saloon,
The saloon,
Must go.'”

“You are right, little sister,” I said to myself,
“You are right, good sister,” I said.
“Though you wear a mussy bonnet
On your little gray head,
You are right, little sister,” I said.